BDSM Humor

The Politically Correct Domination and Submission Fantasy/ “It's Just Not Natural!”
by Victoria Fox

     She met him in a local Italian restaurant that was not run by Italians and served no wine. She was 24, old enough to be considered sexually mature, but still young enough to be considered young and sexy. They both had fantasy's they thought were kinky and wanted to try them out. He was handsome, and was sweet enough order the tofu cheese cake for desert to show off his health conscious, animal friendly flair. His exciting display of good taste moved her, and so she decided to invite him over for an evening cup of decaf tea. As they walked out he shook his head at some smokers standing in the snow. How could they be more concerned about freezing than second hand smoke?

     They went back to her perfectly kept apartment around eight. She had to go to bed by ten to be fresh for work, but that gave them time to do naughty private adult things. Both kids were exceedingly cosmopolitan. After discussing a consent form at length they got into some really kinky shit.

     She of course had fantasy's about being restrained, but needed to make sure she had a completely free range of motion while trying the experience. They decided on those plastic cuffs from toys are us, because one tiny motion would cause her to be able to break free.

     They decided to play cops and robbers first. Then they had to stop, because he wanted to spank her, but realized it would be inappropriate for a police officer arresting a thief to spank them. She also was concerned about how playing such a game might degrade real prison inmates who might have had many sociological, economic, and psychological aspects involved in their situations.

     They tried to play out a school fantasy, but that too involved questions of ethical role relations. They thought there might be possibilities if both clearly understood that it was really some kind of therapeutic role play exploring feelings about discipline, but felt they should consult a sex therapist, or at least write in to one of those newspapers before attempting it at home.

     The spanking didn't work so well anyway, she couldn't stop laughing because he wouldn't actually do more than tap her bottom with one of those balsa wood paddles that have no substance. At least, he thought, he was nice enough to not be mean about it. Every few swats he checked and made sure it wasn't too hard, with gentle questions like "Is this okay, honey?".

   Fortunately some psychotic clowns showed up, threw the happy couple in the back of a white van, and executed a pre-arranged consensual kidnapping to take them to a party at a late night coffee house.

It was terribly naughty of all of them, but at least they made it to bed by midnight.

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The author refuses to eat vanilla flavored strawberry ice cream. It's just not natural.